How long has it been since anyone portrayed a poet in Hollywood? The last I remember was Bob Denver's portrayal of Maynard G Krebs on the Dobie Gillis Show back in the early '60s. (Yes, I am that old.)

How long has it been since a poet was featured in a movie or television program? While it might be a few readers of HollywoodIsTalking.com will be quick to point out examples I doubt most people ever remember a show that featured a poet or a poem. I certainly can't think of any, can you?

Why is that? Why are poets unrepresented in Hollywood? Why are we discriminated against? Do actors and actresses not like poets? Poets like actors and actresses. Shakespeare was a poet and some of his plays were poems. I'm not suggesting we start making a bunch of movies based on sonnets and iambic pentameter but geeze Louise, can't we have a little more rhyme, a few couplets maybe? Is it producers who don't like poetry?

And don't throw musicals in the mix either; I'm sick and tired of men in tights dancing around pretending to be members of street gangs. Like any self-respecting poet would be seen in public wearing tights, please I wear Levis, t-shirts, drink Bourbon and ride a Harley Davidson Hog; you'll not see me dancing around in tights, not even black tights!

I know, it's the script writers, isn't it? It has to be script writers. The average 1/2 hour of television is compromised of 17 minutes of commercials which means script writers have to learn to use words economically. Script writers must be scared that poets might write in a more economical manner than script writers do. That has to be it, after all, nobody knows economy of words better than poets. The goal of the poet is to use the least amount of words possible to get their point across, script writers are afraid we poets would work even less than they work while producing more scripts. Script writers are afraid of getting shut out if we poets ever get our foot in the door, right?

Anyway, I came to Hollywood to prove a point: Poets can write for television and movies and to prove it I'm going to leave you with a poem that could someday become a Hollywood classic. How do I know it could become a classic? Because it's a western and nothing makes a better Hollywood classic than a good old fashioned western.

Be sure to read it aloud the way poems are meant to be read, I promise you'll enjoy it. Maybe you know a really strong actor who could play the lead.

Rowdy Rode A Blue Rhino
By Billy Jones, AKA Billy The Blogging Poet

I’ve come to tell a story
‘bout a legend lost in time.
A cowboy known around the world
who rode a mount so fine.
A cowboy, name was Rowdy,
who couldn’t shoot at all,
but Rowdy rode a blue rhino
who came when ‘er he’d call.

Yes, Rowdy rode a blue rhino,
his saddle on its back,
and because his rhino towed his house
Rowdy didn’t need to pack.
He didn’t sleep upon the ground
‘neath clear western skies.
Yes, Rowdy rode a blue rhino
until the day he died.

When Rowdy rode his blue rhino
folks cleared from er’ his way,
an’ where he chose to park
the sheriff would let him stay.
No Rowdy couldn’t shoot at all
but always had his say
‘cause when you ride a blue rhino
folks let you have your way.

One day a stranger came to town,
thirteen notches on his gun.
He said, “Where is this Rowdy dude?
I’m gonna have some fun.
I hear ol’ Rowdy’s purdy tough,
let’s get him on his feet.
Tell Rowdy, I’m a callin’ him
to meet me on the street.”

The stranger stood there in the street,
his six guns at his side,
when up ahead, low and behold,
came Rowdy on his ride.
That stranger ran away so fast to where nobody knows,
but Rowdy never fired a shot.
Just rode his blue rhino.

And in the town there was a girl
who loved ol’ Rowdy so.
She dreamed that he might marry her,
but Rowdy didn’t know.
See Rowdy couldn’t hang around,
he lived a cowboy’s life
for Rowdy rode a blue rhino
an’ didn’t need a wife.

But one sad day it happened.
The worst was bound to come.
Rowdy died a tragic death,
but not by no man’s gun.
As he was herding cattle
his rhino slipped and fell
into that old Grand Canyon
that we all know so well.

They didn’t need to bury him
for he could not be found.
They found his rhino dead as heck,
there lying on the ground,
but Rowdy wasn’t anywhere
though we searched all around.
Beneath the rhino forty feet,
he was driven in the ground.

Yes, Rowdy rode a blue rhino
until the day he died.

Happy trails and all that jazz, I shall return to Hollywood again. Maybe by the time I get back to town you'll have knocked down a few of those barriers your script writers have been putting up to keep us poets locked out of town. Bye now, see you real soon. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S..... Me!

Billy Jones writes the wildly popular BloggingPoet.com, is the author of several books and writes children's poetry at LaureatesKids.com.

Wait, wait, it's not time to go, it's time to watch a short movie film produced by Beth Compton of Greensboro, North Carolina. The film is called Liberty after the town of Liberty, North Carolina and it was featured in Greensboro's 2006 48 hour film project. Check it out!



By the way, look for lots of new features and some amazing upgrades to get rolled-out here on HIT in the coming days and weeks.